When Surrender Means Saying
Surrender is never easy, at least not for me. Halting my will or my desires to submit to the will of someone else has always been difficult for me. I never like to blindly follow anyone, no matter who they may be. I remember struggling as a child to follow direction from my parents with often little reason other than, “Because I said so...” So one might guess that following God’s prompting would prove especially challenging.
Over the years, I have learned to trust His prompting, but one of the most difficult things God has ever called me to do was to say something on His behalf. And while I certainly do not place what God has called me to say on par with what God called Moses to tell Pharaoh, I definitely can relate to Moses. I remember thinking much of the same things as Moses, such as who am I to say this to that person? Or why should this person listen to me?
Let Me Pray About That
So what did I do when God called me to take a stand on His behalf? I reasoned with myself aloud to God that I’ll give it a day, seek God thinking I may have misheard Him, and see what God says to me. Basically, I said, let me pray about it first...yeah...that sounds Godly and reasonable. And how did that turn out? Well..let us just say that I lost sleep, I could not eat, could not find any rest or focus. Essentially, God wrecked me, emotionally and physically.
What I Should Have Done
When God calls us to say something on His behalf, it will often stir certain emotions. In retrospect, I have learned how to better process God’s prompting. Our first thoughts may go something like this, “Oh my goodness, God I am not sure I am the right person for the job. Have you seen my track record when it comes to confronting people? I am 0 and 10. Maybe worse, yeah...definitely worse.”
Feel the Fear
What we should say is “God, I love you and so desperately want to obey you, but I am scared beyond belief. Can you help ease my fear, so I can better follow you?” I think that somewhere in my head, I incorrectly believe that God expects me to react like I have it all together. This approach allows us to feel the fear and step towards obedience. Rather than run away, we are communicating our deepest fears to our Abba, Father, asking Him to intercede on our behalf.
Surrender looks and feels different in different circumstances, but God will occaisionally ask us to take a stand on His behalf. The next time God asks you to say something and you feel like running, go to God in prayer express your desire to obey Him and ask Him to help you with overcoming your fear.